Funny Poems


A baby sardine saw her first submarine: She was scared and watched through a peephole. "Oh, come, come, come," Said the sardine's mum, "It's only a tin full of people."

~ Spike Milligan


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Just a line to say I’m living,
That I'm not amongst the dead.
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And mixed up in the head.
I've got used to my arthritis
To my dentures I’m resigned
I can cope with my bifocals,
But - oh how I miss my mind.

Sometimes I can't remember
When I'm standing by the stairs,
If I'm going up for something;
Or have just come down from there.
And before the fridge so often
My mind is full of doubt;
Now did I put some food away,
Or come to take some out?

If its not my turn to write dear
I hope you wont get sore.
I may think I have written
And don’t want to be a bore.
So remember I do love you
And wished that you lived near
But now its time to mail this
And say “Good bye my dear”

I’m standing beside the mail box
And my face - it sure is red.
Instead of posting this to you
I’ve opened it instead.

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